Category: Text

Scream Queens: The Swamp Thing

Once again, the Green Meanie tries to attack poor me for no other reason than the fact that I happen to work at a hospital that was the site of some medical negligence in the ’80s. And that I deep fried Nurse Awful’s sister’s face or something.

The 5th Wave (2016)

Feeling like the end of days is coming? Or perhaps you’re just hoping they are? If so, you might enjoy The 5th Wave, which takes viewers on a post-apocalyptic trip involving aliens, child soldiers, and teenage love triangles.

The Exorcist: And now the time has come

Welcome to the series finale (looks like, maybe, unless there’s divine intervention or an email campaign) of The Exorcist – a television show that despite being very prettily filmed and classy, never grabbed a big enough audience. We might autopsy it later, but for now the recap.

The kinship between Jaws and Taxi Driver

So on the one hand, these two movies, which were released within less than a year of each other, couldn’t be more different. But given that both were released in the middle of the American Film Renaissance of the 1970s, it can be argued that there’s a kinship of sorts between these two classics.

Scream Queens: It's not easy being a Green Meanie

Nurse Awful (and I mean “awful”, not Hoffel) is making the Chanels and I work the creepy late shift at the hospital. And where is Zayday during all of this? Kidnapped by the serial killer of the season AGAIN. Seriously, that girl will do anything to get out of doing any real work around here.

The Exorcist: Dark Angela

We shouldn’t have to wait until the penultimate episode for the fun to begin, but sometimes a series has to find its groove. Chapter 9 aka 162 is the scariest, most action packed, enjoyable, and surprising episode of The Exorcist so far.

Does Star Wars really need the Jedi?

The prospect of watching Rogue One—apparently the very first Star Wars film without any Jedi or Force-sensitives among its main characters—becomes all the more exciting. How will the protagonists solve their problems without the help of Force powers? More importantly, how could the absence of any Jedi in a Star Wars film affect the series’ good-versus-evil narrative?

Movies that Predicted Trump: Bob Roberts (1992)

Bob Roberts is a film that could never be made today. This is the kind of stock phrase you see applied to anything made more than a decade ago, usually as a segue into a rant about how much more sensitive our modern society is. Whether this is an indictment of modernity or lambasting an ignorant past is up to whoever’s writing the article, but that’s not the reason Bob Roberts could never be made today…

Movies that Predicted Trump: Bulworth (1998)

Breaking all rules of political etiquette, a candidate starts behaving outrageously, offending sensibilities with outlandish racially-tinged comments and unhinged acts of buffoonery. Sounds familiar, right? Except the year is not 2015 or 2016 but 1996, and the man in question is a fictional liberal Democrat named Jay Billington Bulworth.

Scream Queens: Chanel is bad at sex

Welcome to Ryan Murphy’s Scream Queens, a show that 75% of the cast is too good for. As you know, I am tired of recapping this show and am handing the reins over to the one person who loves this show: Chanel Oberlin herself. For this episode, Dean Cathy Munsch will also take over. The Agony Booth is not responsible for any of the mean and hurtful things they say. especially to each other. Take it away, ladies!