Category: Movies

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VIDEO: Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988)

Despite the title, this isn’t just a goofy romp with guys in clown costumes. An incredible amount of detail was put into this movie, from the amazing Klown makeup to a lot of little touches that only add to the film’s cleverness. And above all, the way they played this insane concept completely straight makes this one to watch.

VIDEO: The Golden Compass (2007)

Ryan hosts another episode of the Movie Skewer to look at The Golden Compass, based on a novel near and dear to him. New Line scrubbed away the book’s anti-Christian themes when they adapted it into a movie, along with all traces of anything dark or disturbing. Watch as Ryan examines the end result: a bland movie-by-committee where nothing is at stake.

VIDEO: Catwoman (2004)

Cecil looks at Catwoman, starring Halle Berry as a cosmetics company employee who undergoes basically the same origin as Michelle Pfeiffer in Batman Returns and becomes a superhero! Many consider this to be a strong contender for worst comic book movie ever made, but in this episode, Cecil explains why he genuinely loves Catwoman.

VIDEO: The Beast of Yucca Flats (1961)

In this episode, Mr. Mendo goes to where few reviewers have gone and lived to tell about it, taking on The Beast of Yucca Flats, also known by its alternate title, Holy God, When Will It End?!? Unlike the other two films directed by Coleman Francis, this one’s got a sci-fi angle, where wrestler Tor Johnson survives an A-bomb test and becomes a mutant killer. But never fear, because it still has all the pointlessness and incompetence you’ve come to know and love from ol’ Coleman!

VIDEO: Batman Returns (1992)

Join Mr. Mendo and special guest Sofie Liv as they take on Tim Burton’s Batman Returns! The two Joel Schumacher-directed Batman films have been thoroughly dissected on this website, but is it possible that Tim Burton’s entries in the franchise were just as silly and nonsensical? Mendo and Sofie find out!

VIDEO: Santa with Muscles (1996)

It’s an Agony Booth Christmas Special as Cecil watches Santa with Muscles, starring Hulk Hogan playing against type as a rich buffoon, who falls down a trash chute and starts believing he’s Santa Claus. He decides to help out some hapless orphans (among them, Mila Kunis) in danger of having their home demolished by evil germophobe Ed Begley, Jr. A mainstay of the IMDb’s Bottom 100 list for over a decade, is it possible Cecil enjoyed this one? Watch and find out!

VIDEO: Fear (1996)

In this episode, Cecil watches Fear, starring Reese Witherspoon as Nicole, a young girl stalked by her psycho ex-boyfriend Mark Wahlberg. Despite the pedestrian plot, the movie is wall-to-wall wackiness, thanks mostly to Wahlberg giving a hilariously over-the-top performance. Watch as Marky Mark finger-bangs Reese Witherspoon on a roller coaster! Watch as he gives himself a NICOLE 4 EVA tattoo with a ballpoint pen! And in the end, nature will take its course… so let me in the fucking house!

VIDEO: Tangled (2010)

It’s the debut of Red Suitcase Adventures, where your host Sofie Liv explores both the good and bad in popular films!

In the first episode, Sofie digs into the global phenomenon that is Disney, and looks at their recent attempts to get back to basics by releasing new old-school material, the latest of which is the 2010 fairy tale story Tangled.

VIDEO: Antichrist (2009)

“Chaos reigns as Mr. Mendo takes on Lars Von Trier’s Antichrist, with the help of a very special guest, the Lecher Bitch herself, Diamanda Hagan! Watch as a grieving couple retreats to their cabin in the woods, in the movie that shocked Cannes with graphic depictions of genital mutilation, hardcore sex, talking foxes, and naked Willem Dafoe!”

VIDEO: A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child (1989)

“Fear Fan looks at the fifth installment in the Nightmare on Elm Street series, where Alice (one of the survivors of Part 4) learns that Freddy wants to return to the real world by invading the subconscious of her unborn baby. Witness Freddy’s nun-rape origins, a nerd getting terrorized inside a comic book, death by overeating, and a special appearance by Baby Freddy!”

VIDEO: The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010)

Michael A. Novelli steps up to host the Movie Skewer and take over our coverage of the Twilight Saga: the continuing misadventures of a vacant, passive high school girl, the creepy vampire who controls her, and the werewolf/rapist-in-training who comes between them! In the third installment, Bella and Edward are engaged, which pisses off Jacob, while Victoria organizes an army of “newborn” vampires to kill Bella and get revenge on Edward. So yeah, pretty much the same plot as New Moon, only this time they pay Bryce Dallas Howard to stand around and do nothing.”

VIDEO: Mega Python vs. Gatoroid (2011)

“‘80s pop princesses Debbie Gibson and Tiffany are down in the ‘Everglades’, trying to out-bitch each other by creating giant pythons and alligators. Eventually, the two middle-aged teen queens put their differences aside to save Miami from a reptile apocalypse, in this amazing sci-fi-horror-action comedy that manages to completely fail in four genres at once!”

VIDEO: Hack-O-Lantern (1988)

“Just in time for Halloween, Cecil brings us Hack-O-Lantern, the tale of an old man (Hy Pyke, the bar owner from Blade Runner, which is enough to get him top billing here) who tries to initiate his young grandson Tommy (Gregory Scott Cummins) into a devil-worshipping cult. Come for the satanic killing spree, stay for the incest and the heavy metal music video randomly dropped into the middle of the movie!”

VIDEO: Shocker (1989)

“This time on Terror Obscura, it’s 1989’s Shocker, director Wes Craven’s failed attempt to create a film franchise to rival his own Nightmare on Elm Street series. In it, a high school football player (played by Friday Night Lights director Peter Berg) faces off against an executed serial killer (a scenery-chewing Skinner from The X-Files) with the power to jump into the bodies of other people. Berg is forced to pursue him from body to body, across the broadcast airwaves, and eventually through all of television. But more importantly, there’s a cameo by John Tesh!”

VIDEO: Donnie Darko (2001)

“Mr. Mendo is back to take on yet another overrated indie film: Donnie Darko, the needlessly obtuse story of a schizophrenic boy, the 6-foot rabbit that visits him in the night, and the jet engine that falls on him. Also, there’s some stuff in here about time travel and the end of the world. And Patrick Swayze is a child molesting motivational speaker. This synopsis makes more sense than the movie.”

VIDEO: Delgo (2008)

Delgo is the trite tale of two species battling for control of their generic fantasyland and the star-crossed lovers (voiced by Freddie Prinze, Jr. and Jennifer Love Hewitt) caught in the middle, featuring cheap CGI, endless clichés, and terrible comic relief courtesy of an exceptionally irritating Chris Kattan. If you missed this one in theaters (and odds are very, very good that you did), here’s your chance to find out if it’s as bad as its domestic gross suggests!”

VIDEO: Masters of the Universe (1987)

“Break out your action figures, and settle in for pure ‘80s awesomeness! Long before the horrendous Transformers movies, there was Masters of the Universe, a live action movie that adapted a toy/cartoon series, and actually did it right! Sure, it may be just another fish out of water story, and there may be a few too many new characters, but overall the film delivers. Sword battles, weird creatures, and a 22 year old Courtney Cox? Sign me up!”

VIDEO: Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS / Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom (1975)

“Starting things off is 1975’s Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS, an entry in the inexplicably popular Nazi exploitation genre. Ilsa, commandant of a POW camp, conducts gruesome experiments on women to prove their superiority to men, while castrating the men who can’t keep up with her in the sack. At the top of the bill is Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom, also from 1975, the lighthearted tale of Italian fascists who kidnap a group of teenage boys and girls and degrade them for—you guessed it—120 days.”

VIDEO: Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010)

“Michael Cera plays a 20 something slacker (shocker!) living in Toronto, who falls in love with a girl with seven evil exes, among them Superman and Captain America. Scott has to do battle with each ex in a series of Nintendo-inspired fight scenes, while writer-director Edgar Wright shamelessly attempts to create a new cult classic by stuffing in the maximum amount of video game in-jokes possible.”