Category: Movies

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Argo (2012)

“Had the film been helmed by a more seasoned director, or even a relative unknown, it never would have taken home the big prize. Because ultimately, the most interesting thing about Argo is that Ben Affleck directed it.”

Kick-Ass 2 (2013)

“The bad news is Kick-Ass 2 isn’t as good as Kick-Ass. There are certain key elements of awesome from the first movie that are absent this time around, and without them there’s just no way to completely recapture the magic. The good news is that those voids have been filled by not-quite-as-awesome-but-still-pretty-awesome new stuff.”

Kick-Ass (2010)

“Most action films are ludicrous to a degree, but this one is almost a cartoon. I felt about as much suspense over Hit-Girl’s fate as I feel concern for Wile E. Coyote’s health after a boulder falls on him.”

The Canyons (2013)

“Lohan’s performance in The Canyons is orders of magnitude better than her listless take on Elizabeth Taylor. In fact, this might possibly be her best performance ever. And I fully realize that’s not saying a whole lot.”

Pacific Rim 2: 10 Things We Want to See

“Guillermo del Toro certainly seems optimistic about a sequel, having already dropped hints on several plot details he has in mind. And being a massive nerd, I have a few of my own. So in no particular order, here are ten things I’d like to see happen in Pacific Rim 2.”

Spring Breakers (2013) Text Review

“I’m not sure Spring Breakers is about much of anything, other than its own stunt casting. As the continuing fame of Miley Cyrus proves, there’s nothing the American public eats up quite as voraciously as former teen queens shedding their good girl images, and in that respect, Spring Breakers does not disappoint.”

The Wolverine (2013)

“It gets really, really dumb. It honestly starts feeling uncomfortably like a deleted scene from X-Men Origins: Cheap-looking CGI, nonsensical plot developments, and laughable execution. The only thing that prevents it from having the worst payoff to a mystery in a movie this year is the fact that Star Trek Into Darkness came out.”

Choke (2008)

Iron Man had come out a few months prior, but at the time, writer-director Clark Gregg was still best known for being on The New Adventures of Old Christine. Which is fitting, because Choke plays like Fight Club if Fight Club were a CBS sitcom.”