Category: Movies

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VIDEO: Batman Begins (2005)

It’s Ursa’s Five Fave Fings (she’s a trained alliterationist–don’t try this at home) about Batman Begins! And Batman, according to this movie, begins with Morgan Freeman, Liam Neeson, Katie Holmes’ lack of undergarments, themes of idealism and fear, and Christian Bale’s abs.

VIDEO: Grave Encounters (2011)

Phil Buni joins the site with a found footage horror movie that mocks bad reality TV! It’s basically a better-than-expected Paranormal Activity clone, reviewed by a stoned bunny that really likes talking about people going insane a lot. Features a guest cameo from the Nostalgia Chick that’s super important to the integrity of the review!

VIDEO: Casino Royale (2006)

Daniel Craig is 007, who must face off against Le Chiffre, banker to the world’s terrorist organizations. In the novel, they played baccarat, but nobody knows what the hell that is anymore, so here they play Texas hold ’em poker. Well, in between the ads for Sony products, anyway.

VIDEO: The Wicker Man (2006)

Nicolas Cage famously goes apeshit in 2006’s The Wicker Man, the godawful remake of the 1973 horror classic. Cage is a cop who travels to Summersisle, an island with a matriarchal society that worships bees. He investigates the disappearance of his ex-girlfriend’s daughter, and somehow ends up wearing a bear suit and punching women out.

VIDEO: Avengers XXX: A Porn Parody (2012)

What better way to start off a new show than with Vivid’s porn parody of the biggest film of the summer? Starring Dale DaBone as Iron Man, Brooklyn Lee as the Black Widow, ex-wrestler Chyna as She-Hulk, and many others, this is a movie that strangely enough includes way more Marvel characters than the actual Avengers movie.

VIDEO: Get a Clue (2002)

Flash back to when Lindsay Lohan wasn’t a washed-up 26 year old, with a Disney Channel Original Movie where she plays Lexy Gold, who despite the name, is not a stripper. Instead, she’s a prep school fashion queen who solves a mystery with the help of best friend Brenda Song.

VIDEO: Magnolia (1999)

Cheapus takes you character by character through Magnolia, writer-director Paul Thomas Anderson’s lengthy opus about 24 hours in the lives of interconnected people living in the San Fernando Valley, starring Philip Seymour Hoffman, William H. Macy, Julianne Moore, John C. Reilly, Jason Robards, and Tom Cruise in an Oscar-nominated role. 

VIDEO: Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)

A group of people in San Francisco (Donald Sutherland, Brooke Adams, Jeff Goldblum, Leonard Nimoy) come to realize that everyone around them is slowly being replaced by alien clones with no emotion, leading to one of the most famous endings ever. Also in this review: see old ladies get punched in the face, and find out where Cabbage Patch Kids come from!

VIDEO: Rocky Balboa (2006)

Cheapus steps into the ring for the Sylvester Stallone-directed final entry in the Rocky series, where the now 60 year old boxer makes a surprising comeback (as does the actor playing him). Rocky fans get everything they expect: Burt Young, a training montage set to “Gonna Fly Now”, and both Rocky and Sly overcoming the odds.

VIDEO: Apocalypto (2006)

In Mexico during the decline of Mayan civilization, a hunter (Rudy Youngblood) escapes from bad guys who capture his tribe for human sacrifice. He’s got to rescue his wife and son before rain fills the well where he hid them, along the way getting tortured nearly as much as Jesus in Mel’s previous movie.

VIDEO: The Mummy (1999)

Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz are an adventurer and a librarian who team up in 1920s Egypt for an archaeological expedition, only to accidentally awake a high priest buried alive 3,000 years ago. Though it’s based on the 1932 Boris Karloff movie of the same name, it has just a tad more in common with the Indiana Jones films.