Category: Movies

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VIDEO: Rise of the Guardians (2012)

Sofie went to the theater to see one of the few movies she could see at the same time as the rest of the world (dubbed into Danish, alas). Here’s her review of the epic Rise of the Guardians, starring the voices of Alec Baldwin as a Russian Santa Claus, Hugh Jackman as the Easter Bunny, Chris Pine as Jack Frost, and Jude Law as the Boogeyman!

VIDEO: Frankenweenie (2012)

UPDATED Nov. 23, 2012 with commentary from Count Jackula and Horror Guru!

You know what’s awesome? Resurrecting dead pets. All this happens and more on this special black and white episode of Friday Night Fright Flicks, as Horror Guru and Count Jackula review Tim Burton’s Frankenweenie!

VIDEO: Star Ballz (2001)

Not only does it reference Sailor Moon, Dragon Ball Z, Star Wars, and literally every movie ever made, but it also got the attention of George Lucas, who (unsuccessfully) filed a federal lawsuit against the makers of this movie. The Porn Critic checks it out to see if there’s any chance in hell he might confuse it with the real Star Wars.

VIDEO: The Apple (1980)

It’s the bizarre cult classic The Apple, a gay sci-fi biblical musical allegory directed by the future producer of Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo. It’s the far-flung year of 1994, where society is ruled by a fascist, totalitarian record label called BIM, and the only ones who can liberate humanity are two virginal folk singers from Canada.

VIDEO: The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn: Part 1 (2011)

Stephenie Meyer’s novel gets split into two movies to extract an additional billion dollars from Twi-hards who line up for these things no matter how tedious or repulsive they get. And this one is certainly repulsive, as Bella gets pregnant with a half-vampire baby who treats her womb like a bouncy castle, Edward performs a Cesarean with his teeth, and Jacob embarks on an 18 year quest to groom his future wife.

VIDEO: Jarry Putter (2003)

From the depths of the cheapest Mexican cinema comes Jarry Putter, a softcore porn parody of the Harry Potter franchise (specifically Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone). Renegado and the Porn Critic team up to guide you through this rare, random, and weird gem.

VIDEO: Shark Attack 3: Megalodon (2002)

The Renegado takes a look at one of only two shark movies set in Mexico, and the one that’s known the world over for being one of the worst movies ever made, and also for having a famous line that got dubbed over with a shout-out to I Love Lucy in the TV version. So hop on your Sea-Doo and get ready to cruise right into the mouth of unintentional hilarity! Features a special guest appearance by Obscurus Lupa!

VIDEO: Coal Black and de Sebben Dwarfs (1943)

Because Mendo isn’t enough of a glutton for punishment, he takes a look at one of the infamous Censored Eleven, a series of controversial Warner Bros. cartoons that are no longer available for mass consumption. This particular short addresses a subject that bothers Mendo to no end: the glorification of the military! And also, racism. That part’s pretty bad, too.

VIDEO: Green Lantern (2011)

Now equipped with an alien ring, the Cinema Slob heads to Chicago’s sci-fi convention Cyphan, to get help from the only man who knows comics, the Last Angry Geek! It’s a fitting end to Superhero Month, and the first proper “crossover” from the Slob.

VIDEO: V/H/S (2012)

UPDATED Nov. 9, 2012 with commentary from Count Jackula and Horror Guru!

Holy Inception, Batman! Count Jackula and Horror Guru get trapped in a tape… within a tape, as they review the new found-footage horror anthology V/H/S.

VIDEO: Quantum of Solace (2008)

Daniel Craig and the Bond filmmakers silenced the critics with Casino Royale, then got them all shooting off their mouths again with this entry, thanks to an unfinished screenplay, a boring villain, and some of the most confusing editing ever seen in the franchise. Luckily, we’re here to make sense of it all for you.