Introducing a man-eating car and a lava-vomiting spider. What more do you need to know? You either want to see that or you desperately want to see that. Those are your only two options.
“Ultimately, Hollywoodland will probably only be remembered for the novelty of Ben Affleck playing Superman years before he played Batman.”
“Fans of the movie (and yes, this movie does have fans) will tell you it’s actually an underappreciated gem. I’m here to tell you those people might be clinically insane.”
“If you imagine the Marvel franchise as the movie equivalent of a TV series, then this is sort of like ending the season on a standalone episode after a big climatic two-parter, starring a character you’ve never heard of, in a story that means almost nothing to the larger plot.”
Miramax is reportedly going up for sale for $1 billion, and since it’s got a TV division, we figure it’s ripe for the pickin’ for HNTP. All we need is for each of you, our loyal friends and supporters, to kick in a little something, Kickstarter-style.
“For a film that talks about the importance of humanity and human survival, it shows shockingly little faith in it.”
This is a reupload of the Horror Guru’s top 10 horror films of all time! From the blood splattered halls of slasher classics to the gothic cathedrals of Italian horror, this list makes it through all the decades of the grotesque!
The Stallone action cheesefest of awesome.
“Basically The Invisible Man redone as a slasher film, containing all the stupidity that this genre (unfairly or not) is associated with.”
Nostalgia ain’t what it used to be… and neither is The Last Starfighter if this TV reboot ever sees the light of day.
“My confidence in British intelligence is dropping by the minute.”
A look into the atmospheric horror film The Relic.
Look Ma, no puns! Instead, we’ve got prequels, sequels, mythology, prophecy, and when it’s better Not To Know.
The Horror Guru lists the top 10 hottest moms in horror he’d like to fuck, from least to most sexy. But will such MILFs featured in films like Mother’s Day, Rosemary’s Baby, or even The Babadook be included? What about Inside, Black Swan, or Friday the 13th?
The action maxsploitation post apocalyptic goodness of Exterminators of the Year 3000.
“It’s my personal view that Attack of the Clones gets a bad rap, so here are some reasons why I think it’s underrated and deserves some reconsideration.”
“So there you have it, folks. James Bond, secret agent: killed by a video game.”
Sofia Vergara’s Frozen Embryos to Wacky Egg-Tivist Nutbars, “LET IT GOOOO! Let it Go!”
“Was this another scene specifically written so as to avoid a potential lawsuit? Does Eon hold the copyright on interesting gadgets?”
By special request, Sofie reviews something she’s actually kind of looked forward to.