“The Fly actually managed to be superior to its ‘50s predecessor. This is because it drastically toned down the tongue-in-cheek elements seen in the earlier version.”
“Men’s-only locker room, casual misogyny when it comes to humor, assumptions that women are only interested in material goods. Glad to see the future hasn’t changed, 1969.”
This non-comedy gets a suitable non-ending as all the plot threads we’ve been following for six months devolve into a terrible musical number and the strangest closing credits in history.
Jupiter finally meets the main villain of the film, and it feels like a complete afterthought. But on the plus side, somebody in this movie will win an “award” for his acting.
“Roger Ebert would often espouse the notion that there are no good movies featuring hot air balloons. I’d like to think he was watching Skidoo at the time he formulated this theory.”
“With the abrupt ending of the first film, most had hoped the second entry would provide all the answers we never got. Instead, the previous film now makes even less sense.”
“Honestly, after the opening credits, I was expecting a lot less subtlety both in plot and visuals, like everyone would be walking around wearing aluminum cowboy hats or something.”
“So destroying a machine that’s beaming negative thoughts into our heads will somehow cause global warming to stop?”
“Wade Wilson might be a rude, violent borderline sociopath with a potty-mouth who drops more F-bombs in the first 20 minutes of this movie than all of the Marvel Cinematic Universe and Fox-Marvel movies combined, but he isn’t (completely) lying when he calls this film ‘a love story’”
Jupiter and Titus are about to get married, but to the shock of no one, Titus has sinister motives. Cue “Mrs. Robinson” on the soundtrack as Caine rushes to stop the wedding.
“Take that satisfaction and multiply it by a coolness factor of ten if we’d heard the snap-hiss of a lightsaber activated in George McFly’s hand as he prepared to confront Biff.”
We all know Johnny Depp insists on preposterous hair and makeup for every role, so how could he possibly resist the chance to play Donald Trump? In a spoof of a 1980s TV movie, no less!
“Wolf accomplishes what I previously thought was impossible: it actually features Jack Nicholson being restrained.”
“This is the first time I can say that a writer probably got his lyrics out of a trash can, and be completely accurate.”
“This film really did nothing but confirm the fact that Nicolas Cage doesn’t really care anymore. He’ll take just about any part to pay off his huge debts, and do absolutely nothing with the role.”
“It never really amounts to a great cinematic experience, which it easily could have been, and it never replicates the spirit of the comic book because, well, it’s not a comic book.”
There’s a good chance you never bothered to see The Dukes of Hazzard‘s disastrous leap to the big screen. Fortunately, our good friends at The-Editing-Room.com re-wrote the entire script in 1,000 words or less… then slathered it all in sarcasm sauce.
“It’s all very bland, especially when so much more could have been done with her agelessness.”
“It’s only two hours long, which is about standard for today, but it’s two hours that drag on longer than the last 15 minutes of class before summer vacation.”
The truth about Premium Abrasax is revealed and it’s exactly what we figured out 30 minutes ago. Also, Titus Abrasax shows his romantic side by trying to get with his mom’s identical twin.