“They don’t get much cheesier or TV movie-er than 1979’s Captain America, starring Reb ‘Big McLargeHuge’ Brown as the Sentinel of Liberty. There’s no Red Skull or HYDRA or Cap getting entombed in a block of ice in this movie, just a big doof with overinflated biceps riding his motorcycle and battling Wink Martindale’s evil twin.”
Category: Movie Review
“Stan looks at Tommy, the 1975 musical based on the Who’s rock opera about a deaf, dumb blind kid who sure plays a mean pinball. Directed by Ken Russell (who apparently hates epileptics), the movie stars Ann-Margret (who shows off some impressive eye acting), a creepy, tone-deaf Oliver Reed, and Roger Daltrey as Tommy, who’s got a fever, and the only cure is more pinball!”
“In this installment of Mr. Mendo Pisses Off the Entire Internet, Mendo takes on Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, the much-beloved mind-trippy tale of boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy pays to have girl erased from his memories, boy meets girl again due to some combination of magic, sorcery, and telepathy.”
“The Fear Fan takes on 1985’s A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge! Some people say it’s the worst entry in the series, others say it’s the gayest entry in any horror series. But no matter how you slice it, this movie has one hell of a reputation. Can the Fear Fan find any redeeming qualities among a sea of naked man ass, killer parakeets, and dance moves bad enough to peel paint? Watch and find out!”
“In this episode, Mr. Mendo gets his Irish on, and joins forces with special guest the Cinema Snob to take on the sixth (yes, the sixth) film in the Leprechaun series. Warwick Davis is the Leprechaun, who returns to “tha hood” a year after rapping with Ice-T, to slowly pick off a random group of ghetto denizens (including Tangi Miller, Laz Alonso, Page Kennedy, and the inimitable Sticky Fingaz) who make the tragic mistake of stealing his pot o’ gold!”
“Everybody’s favorite kaiju does battle with Mechagodzilla, a robot Godzilla clone created by the Simians, an ape-like race from the Third Planet from the Black Hole who have come to conquer Earth, starting with Okinawa. And yes, that’s really the plot. Come for the giant monsters kicking ass, stay for the musical numbers!”
“Welcome to the first episode of a brand new series, where your host Fear Fan explores the best and worst horror films ever made! In this episode, take a trip into the demented mind of Wes Craven as we watch his greatest creation: 1984’s A Nightmare on Elm Street, starring Heather Langenkamp, Johnny Depp, John Saxon, and Robert Englund as the original Freddy Krueger!”
“In this episode, Mr. Mendo lists the 7 worst things about Forrest Gump, the tale of a simpleminded buffoon who somehow lucks into having the greatest life ever, while everyone around him suffers and dies horribly. Join Mendo as he rights some wrongs, solves the Kennedy assassination, exposes the fascist ideology of Tom Hanks, reveals what’s in Marsellus Wallace’s briefcase, and takes a cue from the film itself by raping as many classic pop songs of the ‘60s and ‘70s as humanly possible.”
“Allegedly based on a true story (it’s not), the movie tells the tale of a family who moves into a creepy house, only to discover it’s really a former funeral parlor haunted by demons. Yes, that old story. No, seriously, it’s the oldest story ever told. Watch Mendo and Fear Fan explain how this hodgepodge of 20 better horror films might be the blandest movie ever made.”
“Thrill to the song stylings of Dustin Hoffman and Warren Beatty, as they perform classics like ‘Love in My Will’, ‘Software’, ‘Wardrobe of Love’, and ‘How Big Am I?’ And yes, these are the highlights of the movie.”
“This time around, Stan looks at the TV movie that reunited the stars of a classic ‘70s action series, The Incredible Hulk Returns. And since the notion of Bill Bixby turning into a bodybuilder covered in green body paint isn’t ridiculous enough, they added the Norse god of thunder! Yes, Marvel’s own Thor makes a special appearance here, along with his life partner Donald Blake, and since Kenneth Branagh’s Thor comes out this summer, what better time to look at Thor’s only other live-action appearance?”
“Last summer saw the release of the big budget adaptation of the ‘80s cheese ball television classic The A-Team. Given the rather underwhelming reception it received at the box office, I think we can safely say there won’t be a sequel, so this is as good a time as any to examine what the filmmakers got right and what they got wrong.”
“It’s time once again for another episode of The Special Relationship, where Richard Murphy looks at American movie remakes that don’t quite live up to their British source material.In this episode, Richard watches the Ealing Studios 1955 British comedy The Ladykillers, starring Alec Guinness, Herbert Lom, and Peter Sellers, and stacks it up against the Coen Brothers’ remake starring Tom Hanks and Marlon Wayans! In the process, he plays the Kevin Bacon game and connects Marlon Wayans to Alec Guinness in six degrees or less. And you can play along at home!”
Stan watches The Horror at 37,000 Feet, a bizarre 1973 airplane disaster/horror hybrid that’s horrifying for all the wrong reasons. Filmed for roughly $500 on a soundstage at CBS Television City, the movie boasts an all-star cast including Chuck Connors, Buddy Ebsen, Paul Winfield, Russell “The Professor” Johnson, France Nuyen, and Tammy Grimes. Also onboard is William Shatner, chewing up the scenery like never before, and meeting his untimely demise in a truly memorable fashion.
“Not only is RiffTrax popular enough to produce real DVDs, but they’ve also earned the clout to put on live shows out in the real world, giving their fans a rare excuse to actually leave their homes. In 2009, a live event was staged in Nashville, Tennessee and broadcast to theaters all across the country, featuring the RiffTraxers (RiffTraxians?) taking on one of the most infamous ‘bad’ movies of all time, Ed Wood’s Plan 9 from Outer Space. And as you may have already guessed from the title, this DVD is a document of that event.”
Stan examines the infamously titled Lifetime Original Movie Mother, May I Sleep with Danger? Tori Spelling stars as a college student who thinks she’s met the perfect man, but to the shock of no one who has ever seen a Lifetime Original Movie, he turns out to be a cold blooded killer. Also stars Ivan Sergei, Lochlyn Munro, Gabrielle Miller, and Lisa Banes as “Mother”.
In the second episode of “The Special Relationship”, Richard Murphy compares and contrasts the 1971 British gangster film Get Carter starring Michael Caine with the Razzie-nominated Get Carter remake from 2000 starring Sylvester Stallone, Mickey Rourke, Rachael Leigh Cook, and Alan Cumming! Richard explains why one film is far superior to the other (guess which one!) and why the remake might have been vastly improved with the addition of a Bette Midler montage.
By special request of the Agony Booth, Richard is kicking off a new series-within-the-series titled “The Special Relationship”, wherein he looks at American movie remakes that don’t quite live up to their British source material, starting with a comparison of the ‘60s British series The Avengers, and the Razzie-winning 1998 American remake starring Ralph Fiennes, Uma Thurman, and Sean Connery!
“From an undisclosed location in the Middle East comes the Agony Booth’s first ever video review! Our very own Michael ‘Mendo’ Novelli comes to us (almost) live from across the world to give us his take on one of the least-loved James Bond films, The Man with the Golden Gun!”
“Even if you leave aside the language barrier, it’s apparent that director Claudio Fragasso is certifiably insane. If you have any doubts regarding this, they will be dispelled once you hear him mention his movies in the same breath as Casablanca. Seriously.”