Category: Movie Review

The Women (2008)

“The director got together Meg Ryan, Annette Bening, Debra Messing, Eva Mendes, Jada Pinkett Smith—you know, actresses who are good at staring into the camera with weepy, reddened eyes, and somehow still look good doing it. And then she… Eh, why should I tell you how she ruined the movie, when I could show you, with a Screencap Recap?”

10,000 B.C. (2008)

“The movie presents actual ‘history’, but only the sort of ancient history that comes about from forgetting you have a test on paleontology until the night before, and then half-watching Jurassic Park in lieu of actually studying. And then, based on the events in the latter portion of this movie, chasing it with a repeat of Stargate SG-1.”

The Love Guru (2008) (part 2 of 2)

“Mike Myers’s talent for doing multiple characters is offset by a fairly serious flaw: He’s got a really shitty sense of humor. You know the guy in the office who despite being in his mid-forties, still cracks up whenever somebody farts? That’s pretty much Mike Myers in a nutshell. His sense of humor seems to have reached its highest level of sophistication at age twelve, where it has remained ever since.”

The Love Guru (2008) (part 1 of 2)

“Mike Myers’s talent for doing multiple characters is offset by a fairly serious flaw: He’s got a really shitty sense of humor. You know the guy in the office who despite being in his mid-forties, still cracks up whenever somebody farts? That’s pretty much Mike Myers in a nutshell. His sense of humor seems to have reached its highest level of sophistication at age twelve, where it has remained ever since.”

DC 9/11: Time of Crisis (2003) (part 2 of 2)

So here we are, five years later. And yeah, I know that as far as websites go (and even as far as websites making fun of bad movies go), this one is pretty insignificant. But I felt it was appropriate to reflect upon the fifth anniversary of 9/11 in my own way. And while other sites will revisit the memories, the horrors, the highs and lows, here at the Agony Booth, I can think of no better way to mark the occasion than to review the single worst film ever made about those events: DC 9/11: Time of Crisis.

DC 9/11: Time of Crisis (2003) (part 1 of 2)

So here we are, five years later. And yeah, I know that as far as websites go (and even as far as websites making fun of bad movies go), this one is pretty insignificant. But I felt it was appropriate to reflect upon the fifth anniversary of 9/11 in my own way. And while other sites will revisit the memories, the horrors, the highs and lows, here at the Agony Booth, I can think of no better way to mark the occasion than to review the single worst film ever made about those events: DC 9/11: Time of Crisis.

Frog-g-g! (2004)

In this low-budget homage to/satire of ’70s “nature run amuck” horror films, contamination of a small town’s groundwater causes a tadpole to grow to huge, mutant proportions and become the Frog-g-g!, a latex-suited monster with the genetic need to mate with human females. And, I should add, this reviewer is one of only a handful of people not directly involved with the movie to have actually seen it.Yeah, I know. I could say the same thing about a lot of the movies on this site. Easy Kill comes to mind, as does Night of Horror. But what makes Frog-g-g! special is that I caught it at an exclusive midnight showing in Hollywood that was attended by many of the people who worked on the movie.

The Island (2005) (part 3 of 3)

I was always a little apprehensive about championing the cause of Clonus as being ripped off by The Island, because basically, I hadn’t seen The Island. Anyone could look at the plot outlines and see the obvious resemblance, of course, but I could never really be sure. At least, not until now.The Island is finally out on DVD, complete with a commentary track from Michael Bay. After watching the movie twice and listening to Bay’s commentary, I’m more convinced than ever that The Island is directly based on Parts: The Clonus Horror. In fact, there are several details and plot points in The Island that make absolutely no sense except as an homage to Clonus.

The Island (2005) (part 2 of 3)

I was always a little apprehensive about championing the cause of Clonus as being ripped off by The Island, because basically, I hadn’t seen The Island. Anyone could look at the plot outlines and see the obvious resemblance, of course, but I could never really be sure. At least, not until now.The Island is finally out on DVD, complete with a commentary track from Michael Bay. After watching the movie twice and listening to Bay’s commentary, I’m more convinced than ever that The Island is directly based on Parts: The Clonus Horror. In fact, there are several details and plot points in The Island that make absolutely no sense except as an homage to Clonus.

The Island (2005) (part 1 of 3)

I was always a little apprehensive about championing the cause of Clonus as being ripped off by The Island, because basically, I hadn’t seen The Island. Anyone could look at the plot outlines and see the obvious resemblance, of course, but I could never really be sure. At least, not until now.The Island is finally out on DVD, complete with a commentary track from Michael Bay. After watching the movie twice and listening to Bay’s commentary, I’m more convinced than ever that The Island is directly based on Parts: The Clonus Horror. In fact, there are several details and plot points in The Island that make absolutely no sense except as an homage to Clonus.