Bamz Is Going To Be All Up In Your Teevee Selling You Obamacare And We Have A Sneak Peek At The Scripts

Some democrahippies out in California have given the government some sweet-ass coin to insert propaganda about Obamacare into your favorite teevee shows:

The grant, which was given to the USC Norman Lear Center to administer, was created to educate and encourage citizens to enroll in Obamacare, primarily in major demographics such as Hispanics, as well as the young and healthy. According to The Blaze, “The 18-month grant, to the Lear Center’s Hollywood Health & Society program, will be used for briefings with staff from television shows and to track health overhaul-related depictions on prime-time and Spanish-language television.” […]

While Kaplan and other members of the Lear center have been quick to defend that their administration of the grant will not afford them creative control over the content of the shows they advise, it’s hard to deny that an injection of cash from an Obamacare support group won’t result in some pro-Obamacare propaganda, especially in Democrat-heavy Hollywood.

Here’s your scary New World Order of Entertainment, America.

This week on The Walking Dead:

CAROL has stabbed KAREN in the head with a knife. RICK is sad.

RICK: Carol, I can’t believe you killed Karen instead of taking care of her!

CAROL: Shut up, Rick. Me doing that was the most interesting thing that happened all season, you big baby.

BARACK OBAMA, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: Carol, it was a shame you splat-fested Karen’s melon all over the place when Obamacare would have taken care of her!

Terrifying ZOMBIE UNDEADS shamble into the scene.

BARACK OBAMA, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: Guys, guys. Obamacare will be here for you as well once we figure out how to cure your deadness and painful skin conditions. Bear with us.

Next on The Good Wife:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jo_UZh-YPU0

ALICIA: Kerry, we’ve started our own firm and we’ve found skull-crushingly expensive offices and only seem to have four clients. Success!

KERRY: I know, Alicia, but I’m very worried about our healthcare situation. We are obscenely rich Chicago lawyers, but we didn’t actually think to get healthcare.

BARACK OBAMA, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: Hello. I flew back to Chicago to look at your stupendous digs, which we did not have when I was a community organizer here, but even with marble floors, Obamacare is still for you! Get signed up at www dot healthcare dot gov today!

Every week on The Simpsons, because it never changes:

HOMER is attempting to get out of the way of a MURDEROUS SEDAN.

HOMER: Doh!

MURDEROUS SEDAN drives right over HOMER and all the way into LIVING ROOM, where BARACK OBAMA, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, is already on the Simpsons couch. He glances at HOMER’s mangled body:

BARACK OBAMA, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: Homer, that looks bad indeed. In the way of all cartoons, you seem literally squashed flat. No worries! You’re covered by Obamacare now, though you may find it hard to enroll as you live in a town that does not appear to be in a particular state. Head on over to www dot healthcare dot gov and find a Navigator who can help you with that problem!

After The Knife On Top Chef:


AARON is talking about why he was cut from the show.

AARON: When I started the show, I thought I was an amazing chef and I had this kickass neckbeard, so I couldn’t figure out how I would lose.

PADMA LAKSHMI, INCREDIBLY HOT LADY HOST: Aaron, your dish looked great, but the fact that it gave everyone food poisoning was a bit of a problem.

TOM COLICCHIO, CHARMING YET GROUCHY MAN HOST: Your dish was gummy, and I was sick for three days afterward and had to subsist only on broth made of babies.

PADMA LAKSHMI, INCREDIBLY HOT LADY HOST: Aaron, pack your knives please.

BARACK OBAMA, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: (in voiceover, offscreen): Aaron wouldn’t have had to go home if all the guests had been enrolled in Obamacare. Their doctor visits for food poisoning would have been a breeze. Though that shit was gummy, son.

END SCENE.

[Defamer]

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  • Buddha Stalin

    You really bring to life the human drama that is Obamacare. I was moved.

  • Farb

    Obamacare is the stuff of legend, told around campfires at night. The anal part of the oral tradition, apparently.

  • mtn_philosoph

    BARACK OBAMA, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: Guys, guys. Obamacare will be here for you as well once we figure out how to cure your deadness and painful skin conditions. Bear with us.

    “OK, now which one of you is Breitbart?”