Author: Sybil Pandemic

VIDEO: Nick Fury: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. (1998)

Before Samuel L. Jackson, Marvel’s Avengers, and ABC’s upcoming Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., there was an attempt to bring a live-action Nick Fury to life, starring none other than the Hoff himself. This pilot never became a series, but we did get David Hasselhoff being David Hasselhoff for 90 minutes. What more do you need?

VIDEO: Blade (1998)

Solkir reviews Wesley Snipes as the vampire hunter Blade, based on the Marvel Comics character who first appeared in the Tomb of Dracula series. So, it’s a story about killing vampires, but the slayer is a dude? Weird.

VIDEO: Steel (1997)

Solkir reviews the dumb (yet fascinating) Steel, starring Shaquille O’Neal as a weapons designer who grows a conscience and designs a powerful suit of armor so he can be a superhero. In the comics, Steel’s origin was tied up in the ’90s Death of Superman saga, but there’s no sign of Superman here. Instead, we get Judd Nelson, the Not-Oracle, and a brand new dialect created by future sex tape star Ray J.

VIDEO: Spawn (1997)

Solkir presents his own abridged version of Spawn, the movie version of the Image Comics character that personified the dark/edgy superhero aesthetic of the ’90s. A military assassin is murdered by Martin Sheen and sent to hell, but makes a deal with the devil to come back as a powerful “Hellspawn”. But no hell could possibly be worse than this movie’s piss-poor CGI.

VIDEO: Batman & Robin (1997)

Solkir reviews one of the stupidest superhero movies ever made, Batman & Robin. But instead of screaming for twenty minutes about the terrible puns, he attempts to analyze this film in a more logical, detached way, and discovers… it’s still horrible.

VIDEO: Superman (1978)

We know what you’re thinking: Superman: The Movie has a great cast, an iconic score, and awesome special effects. Isn’t this movie too good to make fun of, and obsessively nitpick over? To that we say: Welcome to the Agony Booth! Is this your first time here?

VIDEO: The Mask (1994)

It’s the debut of the Graphic Novel Picture Show, where your host Solkir presents a retrospective of the history of comic book movies! In this episode, he looks at Jim Carrey and Cameron Diaz
in the 1994 adaptation of the Dark Horse comic The Mask, about a guy who puts on the Mask of Loki and gains the ability to alter reality, and discusses how the movie measures up to its source material.