Author: R.G. Quimby

Are You Afraid of the Dark? “The Tale of the Final Wish” (part 2 of 2)

“I effing loved this one when I was a kid, mostly because it had a certain Mr. Bobcat Goldthwait as the villain. As a wee girl, I was kind of obsessed with the Police Academy movies, so much so that I used to host little mini-marathons. Unsurprisingly, I was usually the only one in attendance, save for my favorite stuffed animals. Later, Cheer Bear and the rest of the Care Bears would begin to make excuses not to attend my Policy Academy parties, so, you know…”

Are You Afraid of the Dark? “The Tale of the Final Wish” (part 1 of 2)

“I effing loved this one when I was a kid, mostly because it had a certain Mr. Bobcat Goldthwait as the villain. As a wee girl, I was kind of obsessed with the Police Academy movies, so much so that I used to host little mini-marathons. Unsurprisingly, I was usually the only one in attendance, save for my favorite stuffed animals. Later, Cheer Bear and the rest of the Care Bears would begin to make excuses not to attend my Policy Academy parties, so, you know…”

Return to Oz (1985) (part 5 of 5)

“Can’t say I really blame Aunt Em for wanting to strap Dorothy up to the electroshock machine. WTF kind of stuff is she telling people? Can’t Dorothy just tell them about the cute stuff, like the Lollipop Guild or whatever? I think if she had focused more on the non-creepy aspects of Oz, Aunt Em would be praising her for her creativity and imagination, not sending her off to Dr. Shocker, erm, Worley.”

Return to Oz (1985) (part 4 of 5)

“Can’t say I really blame Aunt Em for wanting to strap Dorothy up to the electroshock machine. WTF kind of stuff is she telling people? Can’t Dorothy just tell them about the cute stuff, like the Lollipop Guild or whatever? I think if she had focused more on the non-creepy aspects of Oz, Aunt Em would be praising her for her creativity and imagination, not sending her off to Dr. Shocker, erm, Worley.”

Return to Oz (1985) (part 3 of 5)

“Can’t say I really blame Aunt Em for wanting to strap Dorothy up to the electroshock machine. WTF kind of stuff is she telling people? Can’t Dorothy just tell them about the cute stuff, like the Lollipop Guild or whatever? I think if she had focused more on the non-creepy aspects of Oz, Aunt Em would be praising her for her creativity and imagination, not sending her off to Dr. Shocker, erm, Worley.”

Return to Oz (1985) (part 2 of 5)

“Can’t say I really blame Aunt Em for wanting to strap Dorothy up to the electroshock machine. WTF kind of stuff is she telling people? Can’t Dorothy just tell them about the cute stuff, like the Lollipop Guild or whatever? I think if she had focused more on the non-creepy aspects of Oz, Aunt Em would be praising her for her creativity and imagination, not sending her off to Dr. Shocker, erm, Worley.”

Return to Oz (1985) (part 1 of 5)

“Can’t say I really blame Aunt Em for wanting to strap Dorothy up to the electroshock machine. WTF kind of stuff is she telling people? Can’t Dorothy just tell them about the cute stuff, like the Lollipop Guild or whatever? I think if she had focused more on the non-creepy aspects of Oz, Aunt Em would be praising her for her creativity and imagination, not sending her off to Dr. Shocker, erm, Worley.”

Labyrinth (1986) (part 4 of 4)

“It takes a real artist to perform among puppets, and Bowie pulls it off masterfully. Now that I’m an adult, I can finally admire his performance. As a girl, I was too busy feeling disconcerted by the puppets and the bulge in Bowie’s tights. They sure didn’t call it a ‘crotchtrusion’ for nothing.”

Labyrinth (1986) (part 3 of 4)

“It takes a real artist to perform among puppets, and Bowie pulls it off masterfully. Now that I’m an adult, I can finally admire his performance. As a girl, I was too busy feeling disconcerted by the puppets and the bulge in Bowie’s tights. They sure didn’t call it a ‘crotchtrusion’ for nothing.”

Labyrinth (1986) (part 2 of 4)

“It takes a real artist to perform among puppets, and Bowie pulls it off masterfully. Now that I’m an adult, I can finally admire his performance. As a girl, I was too busy feeling disconcerted by the puppets and the bulge in Bowie’s tights. They sure didn’t call it a ‘crotchtrusion’ for nothing.”

Labyrinth (1986) (part 1 of 4)

“It takes a real artist to perform among puppets, and Bowie pulls it off masterfully. Now that I’m an adult, I can finally admire his performance. As a girl, I was too busy feeling disconcerted by the puppets and the bulge in Bowie’s tights. They sure didn’t call it a ‘crotchtrusion’ for nothing.”