Author: Michael A. Novelli

VIDEO: Coal Black and de Sebben Dwarfs (1943)

Because Mendo isn’t enough of a glutton for punishment, he takes a look at one of the infamous Censored Eleven, a series of controversial Warner Bros. cartoons that are no longer available for mass consumption. This particular short addresses a subject that bothers Mendo to no end: the glorification of the military! And also, racism. That part’s pretty bad, too.

VIDEO: Double Team (1997)

It’s Mr. Mendo: The Lost Reviews! We’ve unearthed his unfinished review of Double Team, starring Jean-Claude Van Damme and Dennis Rodman. Watch as Mendo’s comrades help to piece together this rare artifact into something resembling an actual review.

VIDEO: Juno (2007)

Ursa reviews the movie, while Mendo unleashes a torrent of mindless self-indulgence, complete with cameos from Johnny Oldschool, the Unusual Suspect, Liam AKA Cheapus, Joey Tedesco as Dr. Rockso, a musical interlude from Full of Questions, and a special appearance by Robert Million as the Log Lady. Yes, all of this happens during the review. Honest to blog.

VIDEO: Star Trek “Mirror, Mirror”

A transporter accident causes Kirk and Company to cross over into a parallel universe where Spock has a beard, and the crew of the Enterprise is evil and menacing. Meanwhile, a transporter accident in Mendo’s house leaves Mendo reviewing this episode with an evil and menacing version of special guest star Sofie Liv. But surely, that’s all just a coincidence.

VIDEO: American Virgin (2009)

A college student makes a vow of abstinence, and yet still falls prey to a porn producer (Rob Schneider) who plans to put her in his Girls Gone Wild-esque video. Watch as a bunch of no-name actors (including Schneider’s daughter, maybe?) go on a road trip to get the incriminating footage back.

VIDEO: The Help (2011)

Emma Stone is a White Savior character in 1960s Mississippi who writes a book about the black maids in town (Viola Davis, Octavia Spencer), which makes all the white people in town feel bad about racism. It also makes a buttload of money for Emma, while leaving the maids worse off then before. Whoops!

VIDEO: Atlas Shrugged: Part I (2011)

At long last, it’s the movie adaption of Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged, now a Tea Partier’s wet dream! The VP of the country’s most important railroad and the owner of the country’s most important steel company join forces to save the economy and answer the burning question (and meme-before-memes-were-a-thing): Who is John Galt?

VIDEO: The Last Unicorn (1982)

Mendo and special guest The Omega have a sleepover and review the strangely morose story of a unicorn who suddenly realizes she’s the last of her kind, and goes on a quest with a magician to find out what happened to the rest of her species. Along the way, she has to deal with an annoyingly meta butterfly, a three-boobed harpy, a talking wino skeleton, and Jeff Bridges’ singing!

VIDEO: Pink Lady's Great Motion Picture (1978) / Japanese Spider-Man (1978)

Mr. Mendo brings us twice the insanity from 1978 Japan: First up, it’s the one and only movie starring singing duo Pink Lady, where they help an alien creature escape the circus, and teleport back to the Old West. After that, it’s the Japanese Spider-Man, who gets his powers from a guy from the planet Spider, along with his very own giant robot sidekick!

VIDEO: The Beast of Yucca Flats (1961)

In this episode, Mr. Mendo goes to where few reviewers have gone and lived to tell about it, taking on The Beast of Yucca Flats, also known by its alternate title, Holy God, When Will It End?!? Unlike the other two films directed by Coleman Francis, this one’s got a sci-fi angle, where wrestler Tor Johnson survives an A-bomb test and becomes a mutant killer. But never fear, because it still has all the pointlessness and incompetence you’ve come to know and love from ol’ Coleman!