Another round of Netflix Instant movies to check out.
Author: Cecil Trachenburg
A pseudo-remake of the Herschell Gordon Lewis classic Blood Feast, and one of the most ridiculous horror comedies of all time. Two brothers (and their uncle, who’s just a brain and eyes in a jar) open a restaurant that serves the best food in town, and the secret ingredient is all the people they killed in sacrifice to resurrect the goddess Shitaar.
If you’ve seen the first House of the Dead, you know it’s a terrible movie. This movie, on the other hand, is not. House of the Dead 2 is a sequel in name only, and it blows the first movie away.
The sequel to the 1984 Stephen King adaptation, Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice is a solid and enjoyable little horror flick. Even more so than the first movie, this sequel set the tone for the franchise that followed.
Krull is a grand mix of fantasy and sci-fi, the likes of which doesn’t come around too often. This is a film overflowing with ideas that could have filled three movies.
Go ninja, go ninja, go! Cecil reviews the sequel to one of his all-time favorite films.
Mortal Kombaaaaaaat! Cecil reviews one of the best examples of how to do a video game movie the right way.
Cecil kicks off 2013 with another video game adaptation! This time, it’s the Jean-Claude Van Damme classic Street Fighter, also starring Ming-Na Wen as Chun-Li, Kylie Minogue as Cammy, and Raul Julia as M. Bison in one of his final roles.
This week, Cecil gets serious again to talk about John Frankenheimer’s extremely under-appreciated action crime thriller Reindeer Games starring Ben Affleck, Gary Sinise, and Charlize Theron. And stay tuned after the review for a reading of the classic holiday poem “‘Twas the Flick Before Christmas”!
We Wish You a Turtle Christmas is the purest combination of both terrible and awesome. A direct-to-video holiday special where the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles sing Christmas songs about pizza and… other things, it’s one of the greatest Christmas specials ever.
While normal people are watching It’s a Wonderful Life around this time of year, Cecil is enjoying bad VHS horror like Iced, a slasher about guys in broken ski masks killing people in a timeshare cabin.
Cecil looks at Suburban Commando, another cheesy relic of the ’90s, starring Hulk Hogan as an alien mercenary who comes to Earth for vacation and rents a room from Christopher Lloyd and Shelley Duvall, and soon they find out that space bounty hunters are after him. If you like Hulk Hogan movies with random appearances by mimes and cantaloupes, this is the movie for you!
It’s the bizarre cult classic The Apple, a gay sci-fi biblical musical allegory directed by the future producer of Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo. It’s the far-flung year of 1994, where society is ruled by a fascist, totalitarian record label called BIM, and the only ones who can liberate humanity are two virginal folk singers from Canada.
Any description we put here is going to be overshadowed by the fact that this movie has a classically trained actor playing a one-legged cyborg with an electric penis.
With Silent Hill: Revelation 3D currently in theaters, Cecil takes a look back at the first film, and explains in great detail why it’s one of his all-time favorites.
A look at the sci-fi horror comedy that oozes ’80s goodness.
Melting Astronauts! Bad detective work! Crackers!
Endless Descent, also known as The Rift, is a sci-fi horror film knockoff of movies like The Abyss and Leviathan. It’s from J.P. Simon, the notorious director of Pieces… who else?
A group of the oldest college kids you’ve ever seen (including ’80s scream queens Linnea Quigley, Brinke Stevens, and Michelle Bauer) break into a bowling alley to steal a trophy. Little do they know that the trophy is the home of a wisecracking imp who spends the rest of the night trying to kill them.
Here’s Cecil’s take on Judge Dredd, the 1995 movie adapted from a British comic, starring Sylvester Stallone, Armand Assante, Rob Schneider, and Diane Lane.