A-Rod Violates Condo’s No-Hookers Policy (Allegedly)

A-Rod Violates Condo's No-Hookers Policy (Allegedly)

Technically, it’s more of a no-hookers guideline, but one way or another, (former?) baseball man Alex Rodriguez has allegedly brought home one sex worker too many for the blue bloods at 15 Central Park West. It’s not that the management at the dee-luxe condo has a problem with hookers per se—some of their best friends are hookers!—so much as they’re tired of the bad press A-Rod gets. Bad press like this sexxxclusive from the New York Daily News:

The disgraced, 38-year-old Yankee — who used to rent a pad at the ultra-exclusive building and wants to get back in — is being benched by the owners because of all the negative press he stirs up. He’s also being blacklisted because of his inclusion in Michael Gross’ book “House of Outrageous Fortune: Fifteen Central Park West, the World’s Most Powerful Address.”

According to the book, the surly slugger had an insatiable libido, and his ritzy apartment became a revolving door for high-priced call girls, “usually two at a time, twice a week.”

Ha, “benched.” Ha ha, “blacklisted.” The NYDN is the preferred paper of people who like to get throat-punched with puns every morning, but seriously, their copy editor seems fun. And big kudos to NYC real estate blog The Real Deal who not only used the same “cry foul” cliche as the NYDN, but also managed to (suicide) squeeze the phrase “struck out” into their lede.

Judging by the other sexxxy gossipy EXCLUSIVES in this piece, it’s pretty clear that the management is aware that other tenants are also patronizing sexxxy sex workers. Because hey, what is even the point of making twelve quintillion dollars if you can’t bring a hooker back to your swaggy $30k/month shag pad every once in a while, y’know? This condo’s owners simply ask that their ultra-wealthy prostitute-patronizers comport themselves with some dignity.

On the scandal-scarred baseball star’s interest in returning to the building, Gross tells Confidenti@l that management’s attitude is “seriously redefining snobbery.”

“Considering the number of noisy, pushy hedgies and funny-money foreigners in residence, the bar is already set pretty low,” he said.

It’s not Alex’s hookers that are the problem so much as the possibility that everyone else might get caught with hookers, too. Don’t go ruining this for the masters of the universe, A-Fraud, and besides who’s even heard of you anyway?

When we asked another building insider about the return of A-Rod, he sniffed: “We’re not familiar with that name. We haven’t been in quite some time.”

Note that the “building insider” (singular) addresses him- or herself with the royal “we,” which is a far cry from the editorial “we” preferred by the sharp-eyed editors of the Greater Wonkette Co-Prosperity Sphere. We applaud the damnatio memoriae being performed against A-Rod, both in New York City and further afield. Now if only we could erase the mental image of him and Madonna doin’ it, we might get a good night’s sleep for once.

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[NYDN]

 

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  • LarryHoudini

    When we asked another building insider about the return of A-Rod, he
    sniffed: “We’re not familiar with that name. We haven’t been in quite
    some time.”
    FOR THE FUCKING RECORD, NO ONE SNIFFS AND TALKS AT THE SAME TIME. I think that writer meant “He sniffed, then said . . .”Who came up with that shitty journalistic device?Anyways . . . Sorry. I wish I had more to say about A-Rod’s whores.

    • glasspusher

      How about “I smell a rat, he said””This is good brandy”, he sniffed.”I love doing lines off of a hooker’s ass”, A-Rod sniffed…I can say this about A-Rod’s whores, at least they go home each night with their self respect, unlike their client.