Are You Afraid of the Dark? “The Tale of the Final Wish” (part 2 of 2)
But Jill can’t run away. She’s being sucked under the bed by some kind of powerful vortex.
Is it just me, or does that look like a big, blue birth canal?
In any case, Jill finds herself in the lair of Bobcat Goldthwait, soon to be identified as the Sandman, of “And Other Tales” fame. The Sandman obviously digs theme rooms, because there are a bunch of clocks and stuff everywhere. Jill wanders around for a moment, then comes upon all of her friends and family floating in the air, sleeping blissfully.
Jill finds the Sandman’s special sleeping powders, along with a giant hourglass. When she approaches the hourglass, the Sandman totally freaks out (though, it’s hard to tell, seeing as how Bobcat delivers all his lines like he’s totally freaking out) and screams at her to stay away from it.
He explains that Jill is in the Land of Nod, where everyone goes to dream. You know, as in, nodding off? So it’s a good thing she didn’t end up in the Land of Jack.
Jill refuses to believe what’s going on, at which point the Sandman points out that this is exactly what Jill wished for last night when she held his book to her chest. Umm… Not quite, Bobcat. I’m pretty sure Jill wanted to be a fairy tale princess, not shacked up with a pudgy 40 year old in shiny purple pajamas.
The Sandman explains that Jill is now living in a fairy tale, and he even has the book of Jill’s fairy tale, titled (what else?) The Tale of the Final Wish.
Jill runs off and the Sandman yells that Jill should have been more careful what she wished for, mwahahahaha!
As Jill runs through random doorways, she comes upon a white one with red question mark embellishments. Assuming that she’ll end up on the set of Let’s Make a Deal, she opens it and finds this.
Run, Jill, run! It’s an old woman, and she’s got too much makeup on!
Next, Jill opens another door and finds the evil witch from Hansel and Gretel stoking the fires of her oven.
Jill then finds her way back to the Sandman. Along the way, he keeps yelling, “Welcome to your fairy tale!” Umm, I call shenanigans on this, Sandman. This is not a fairy tale. It’s clearly just an excuse for you to get a free, live-in housekeeper.
Jill grabs the giant hourglass, and like a badass, threatens to break it unless the Sandman turns everything back to how it used to be. You’re cool, Jill. We should hang out.
When the Sandman makes some bitch-ass excuse about fairy tales being unchangeable, Jill breaks the hourglass and triumphs. Hells yeah!
Jill wakes up in her own bed, screaming as usual. She’s overjoyed when her family runs in and treats her night terrors as an inconvenience. She even apologizes for being “kind of a pain” and promises to stop reading fairy tales and stuff.
Jill’s Mom embraces her, and tells her that she doesn’t need to grow up completely. Way to send mixed messages, Jill’s Mom. What do you want, woman? Will nothing placate you?
They leave and Jill goes back to sleep. A magical breeze (we know it’s magical because, duh, chime noises) blows into her bedroom, opening the cover of the Sandman’s book and ruffling the pages all the way to the last page of “The Tale of the Final Wish”. We end with Bobcat narrating the ending of the fairy tale, which strongly implies there’s more scary shit on the way for Jill, but he’s annoyingly vague about it.
Flash back to the campfire, where Kristen finishes her story with a warning to take fairy tales seriously, because you never know which ones are real and which ones are fake.
Umm… isn’t that what Jill was doing all along? And wasn’t that supposed to be a character flaw or something?
So it appears the moral of the story is this: if you like to read time-honored children’s stories, you’re basically a loser who should be euthanized.
This episode was more than a little lame, because the main character realized that her previous interests were childish, and presumably, she’s going to stop reading and start watching MTV or something. Nothing against MTV, but seriously, let the girl read!