the agony booth

The Help (2011)

Michael A. Novelli — Sat, 19 May 2012 09:23:38 GMT

In a nutshell:

Emma Stone is a White Savior character in 1960s Mississippi who writes a book about the black maids in town (Viola Davis, Octavia Spencer), which makes all the white people in town feel bad about racism. It also makes a buttload of money for Emma, while leaving the maids worse off then before. Whoops!

Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter (2001)

Film Renegado — Thu, 17 May 2012 04:29:09 GMT

In a nutshell:

Vampires are killing lesbians in Canada, and the only person who can stop them is the greatest vampire hunter of all: Jesus Christ! And just in case that's not insane enough for you, God sends the masked Mexican wrestler El Santo to help out.

Shark Night 3D (2011)

Cecil Trachenburg — Tue, 15 May 2012 15:03:14 GMT

In a nutshell:

From the director of Snakes on a Plane, this movie follows a group of college kids (including Sara Paxton and Katharine McPhee, who fortunately spend most of the move in bikinis, but unfortunately never less than that, because this movie is PG-13) as they go on the perfect vacation, only to find out they're being fed to sharks by a group of rednecks intent on making awesome internet videos!

King Ralph (1991)

Liam Barrett — Mon, 14 May 2012 15:12:47 GMT

In a nutshell:

Full of rampant stereotyping of Brits and Americans, it's a one-joke comedy that quickly degenerates into shameless Burger King tie-ins and covers of overplayed Little Richard songs.

Sofie's Journey to a Fantastic World

Sofie Liv — Sun, 13 May 2012 08:12:50 GMT

In a nutshell:

This time, Sofie tries something different, as she analyzes the patterns and formulas used in fantasy movies, singing the praises of some big time classics as well as newer blockbuster hits, including Pan's Labyrinth, Chronicles of Narnia, Star Wars, Harry Potter, Avatar, Phantom of the Opera, Labyrinth, and even Twilight!

Minority Report (2002)

Suzie McGinney — Fri, 11 May 2012 22:13:04 GMT

In a nutshell:

In Steven Spielberg's overlong, needlessly complicated adaption of a Philip K. Dick short story, the Couch Jumper (AKA Tom Cruise) plays a "precrime" detective who stops murders before they happen with the help of blind, androgynous "precogs" who can see the future.

Wes Craven's New Nightmare (1994)

Fear Fan — Wed, 09 May 2012 21:30:54 GMT

In a nutshell:

Follow the Fear Fan on his first journey into the world of meta-horror with Wes Craven's New Nightmare, starring Robert Englund, Heather Langenkamp, and other cast and crew members from the Elm Street series playing themselves.

Harper's Island

Full of Questions — Tue, 08 May 2012 07:02:31 GMT

In a nutshell:

It's a mostly spoiler-free retrospective of the 13-episode murder mystery series Harper's Island. The show was suspenseful despite being a somewhat clichéd tale of a large cast of characters who get killed off one by one, but does it hold up for a second viewing on DVD?

DOA: Dead or Alive (2006)

Cecil Trachenburg — Mon, 07 May 2012 18:51:47 GMT

In a nutshell:

Based on the video game of the same name, it's a film with a risky concept: Gather four hot women (Holly Valance, Devon Aoki, Sarah Carter, Jaime Pressly), put them in as little clothes as possible, and have them fight each other! Luckily for Cecil, the concept works, making for one of the best video game adaptations ever.

Avatar: The Legend of Korra

Sursum Ursa — Thu, 03 May 2012 17:05:06 GMT

In a nutshell:

Taking place 70 years after the adventures of Aang and the gang, the show focus on Korra, a teenage girl who's the current incarnation of the Avatar. Sursum explains why this show has everything you could possibly want from children's entertainment.