Does anyone else think the violence in Iraq kinda sorta looks like this Biblical prophesy, if you squint and lean to the left and spill chicken soup over most of the words?

Pat Robertson

Pat Robertson is off playing fan fiction with the Bible again, writing wildly imaginative new prophesies loosely based on the original characters. Per Wonkette:

ISIS is a bunch of unstoppable murderous thugs trying to drag the Middle East into a New Medieval Order, and Pat Robertson couldn’t be more tickled by the prospect. You see, children, Brother Pat is excited by their goal of unifying Iraq, Syria, and chunks of Egypt into a radical Islamist caliphate, because he’s pretty sure that would fulfill a prophecy from Isaiah 19.

Yes, death and destruction in the Middle East is always a good thing because it means the world is ending REALLY SOON, and this time we mean it, you guys, promise!

All it takes, according to Pat, is replacing modern-day Syria with a brand new ASsyria filled with people who don’t live there and don’t wanna live there. Easy-peasy:

“…pick up the Kurds in Iran, pick up the Kurds in Turkey, pick up the Kurds in Syria, and pick up the Kurds in Iraq, and call it “Assyria” … and let them encompass current Syria and current Iraq and we would be fulfilling Bible prophecy, and it might well happen … Was that prophetic or I’m just playing games?”

Yep, just like it says in the Bible.

And that’s just the beginning. Check out the rest at Wonkette.

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  • conDomDeluise

    As a kid I used to watch the 700 Club because after the 700 Club was Who’s Line is it Anyway? Pat Robertson seems to not age.