Hard to believe it's been nearly three years since the last recap of Mr. T's cartoon series graced this site (Scooter's "Fortune Cookie Caper" recap). Seeing as how Mr. T's cartoon is the most insane TV series ever created, and seeing as how this site has an entire series page dedicated to the show, you might be wondering why we're letting all that potential recap material go to waste.

Well, wonder no more: Mister T recaps are coming back to this site, in a big way. Several members of the Agony Booth staff have already volunteered to contribute recaps. They're hard at work on them even as I write this, so you can look forward to reading all about these episodes in the coming weeks and months.

In honor of this occasion, I have created my very own tribute video to the Mr. T cartoon.

As some of you may know, each episode of Mister T begins and ends with a live action segment starring Mr. T himself (along with, in some episodes, a ragtag group of children who were obviously not being paid scale, and thus have no lines). In these segments, Mr. T would introduce and sum up the episode, and explain the lessons that we, the viewers, were supposed to take away from it.

Well, I'm sure that's what the intention was, anyway. But with Mr. T being Mr. T, these segments often took bizarre and unsettling detours that defy my ability to put them into words.

Which is why I put together this video compilation of the most memorable and informative moments from the live action bookends of Mister T. I call this compilation "Life Lessons with Mister T". Watch, and learn.

So, did you learn anything from this video? I sure did. Allow me to sum up. Here are the Things I Learned from My Own "Life Lessons with Mister T" YouTube Video:

1. Dentists can really ruin a track meet.


2. Wearing glasses as a fashion accessory is a sign of moral weakness.


3. Surprisingly, Mr. T did time in a Mexico City jail.


4. It's perfectly okay to take an extra week to solve a mystery. Hell, it took 100 years for Mr. T to crack the case hmiself, so it's not like one more week is going to hurt anybody.


5. Never doubt how much Mr. T cares about your health. He will force feed you if he has to.


6. If you are a celebrity and you're concerned about your privacy, make sure to put your name in bright white block letters on every piece of luggage you own.


7. But most importantly, Mr. T pities fools!

There were more things I learned, but those are the main takeaways. If you didn't experience the full power of Mr. T's lessons while watching this video, never fear. Everything will be explained in the episode recaps, coming soon to the Agony Booth!