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Blood Splattered Cinema
Hosted by: Horror Guru
The Horror Guru reviews the bloodiest, wildest, and weirdest horror that cinema has to offer!
Cartoon Palooza
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A satirical review show where a guy from Jersey watches and criticizes cartoons, including everything from comic books to animated movies. Whatever it is, Joey will either tell you to run out and see it... or fughetabouit!
The Count Jackula Show
Hosted by: Count Jackula
There are vampires, and there are men from outer space, but there is only one vampire from outer space! Join Count Jackula from the Planet Drakula as he explains the ins and outs of horror, from the mythic to the modern. Blood, off-color humor, and an obsession with Elvira are in store for you!
The Examined Life (of Gaming)
Hosted by: Roland Thompson
Just when video games were getting good, the late '90s and early '00s came along. The Examined Life (of Gaming) dares to delve into the good, the bad, and the value-priced games of this dark period, and sometimes we find something worth playing!
The Film Renegado
Hosted by: Film Renegado
Coming to you from south of the border, it's the Film Renegado! A civil engineer with a cinephile complex, the Film Renegado uses movies made in Mexico or by Mexican directors to share bits from his country's culture, past and present. You will both learn and be entertained! How cool is that?
Friday Night Fright Flicks
Hosted by: Count Jackula & Horror Guru
Welcome, fright knights, to Friday Night Fright Flicks! Join your hosts Count Jackula and the Horror Guru as they stumble their way through current horror releases, letting you know which ones are worth the price of admission.
Good Bad Flicks
Hosted by: Cecil Trachenburg
Good Bad Flicks is a show not only dedicated to rare movies, but also forgotten classics and misunderstood box office bombs. Your host Cecil takes you through each movie, discussing the promotional materials, and taking a look at what went on behind the scenes. With a healthy dose of Irish sarcasm, he throws a few jabs at even his most cherished favorites.
The Graphic Novel Picture Show
Hosted by: Sybil Pandemic
Your host Solkir presents The Graphic Novel Picture Show, a retrospective of the history of comic book movies!
The Movie Skewer
Hosted by: Team Agony Booth
From the makers of the Agony Booth™ comes The Movie Skewer, where terrible movies are roasted over an open flame for your enjoyment. Watch the very first online review/recap series that’s too much for one host to handle!
Mr. Mendo's Hack Attack
Hosted by: Michael A. Novelli
Need a healthy dose of cynicism from a guy whose face you can barely see? Then Mr. Mendo’s your man! Whether a movie suffers from Hype Backlash, Intellectual Dishonesty, or is just Complete Shit, Mr. Mendo is there. Mr. Mendo wasn‘t raised in this country, so he takes nothing for granted: if something ain‘t right, he’ll nose it out. So join him as he takes on Oscar winners and legendary flops alike in front of a blanket suspended between his couch and recliner!
Stuff You Like
Hosted by: Sursum Ursa
Stuff You Like is an original show where redhead Sursum Ursa waxes enthusiastic about movies, TV shows, and anything else that comes to mind! Expect singing, snarky subtitles, random pictures she finds on the internet, and lots of fangirling!
Terror Obscura
Hosted by: Fear Fan
Terror Obscura is a show dedicated to exploring the best and worst horror films ever made. While some shows are content to just mock bad films, this one isn't afraid to take even the most sacred of cows to the slaughterhouse. If you like horror, humor, or if you're just looking to find some titles you might want to rent, Terror Obscura is the show for you!
Tom's Retrophilia
Hosted by: Thomas Stockel
Is he a connoisseur of vintage media, or just a bitter old man trapped in the past?  Either way, tune in and watch Tom take a look at the movies and television shows from a time when he was actually in the target audience!
The Unusual Suspect
Hosted by: Unusual Suspect
The Unusual Suspect reviews popular movies, and tears 'em apart! They may be good, but no movie is perfect, and there's always things you may have overlooked and hadn't thought about. So join the Suspect as he exploits and ridicules the films you know and love. Just don't kill him for it!
What We Had to Watch
Hosted by: Il Neige
Il Neige is a smart-ass with a love-hate relationship with movies from the new millennium. Sure, reviews can be fun or cathartic, but there's also the risk of the occasional Twi-hard invasion or fireball to the face! ...That's how these things usually go, right? So join Il Neige as he braves the cinematic dangers that lie just beyond the fourth wall to critique the best and worst of 21st century filmmaking!
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the agony booth
Batman #147 “Batman Becomes Bat-Baby” Comic Book Review Page 2 of 2
Posted by Lewis "Linkara" Lovhaug Posted on: August 17, 2008
Page: 1 2

That night, Bat-Baby and Robin go on patrol, and come upon three bandits. Actually, some woman is just standing on the street, pointing at three guys running away, and calling them “bandits”. This is all the provocation Bat-Baby and Robin need to chase after them, pursuing the guys up a fire escape. But then again, they’re wearing fedoras and tweed suits. So they’ve got to be criminals.

Bat-Baby soon realizes his legs are too short to keep up. He spots a nearby tire-shaped helium balloon for the “ACME Tire Co.”, so he leaps over to it. It’s got a convenient rope tied to the bottom, and Bat-Baby hangs on as it lifts him up.

Now, what the heck was a helium advertising balloon doing floating so low to the ground? I’m beginning to think these versions of Batman and Robin have no actual skills. They just rely on incredible luck and circumstance to fight crime. In the other two stories in this issue, Batman managed to get out of situations because there just happened to be a shawl, or a ledge, or something else nearby right when he needed it most. So, I guess despite having enough of a disturbing imagination to come up with the Bat-Baby concept in the first place, the writers weren’t particularly talented at coming up with logical plot points.

The ACME balloon rises, carrying Bat-Baby up, and he notes that this is only possible because he currently doesn’t weigh that much. Wait a second—he has the strength of an adult, but not the weight of an adult? Arrggggh! This comic makes physics cry!

Bat-Baby leaps off the balloon onto the roof, landing on a random “taut wire”, as the narration calls it. Bat-Baby’s thought balloon notes another lucky consequence of his new condition, which is that the wire can actually support his babyfied weight.

With a “TWA-ANG”, Bat-Baby launches himself off the wire at the three criminals, and knocks them over. Robin the Slow Wonder finally arrives, and congratulates Bat-Baby on a job well done. And then in the next panel, we learn that news of Bat-Baby knocking the wind out of three guys in fedoras has made front page headlines in less than an hour.

Caption contributed by Lewis
“Bat-Baby in torrid affair with Paris Hilton!” “Bat-Baby Wins World Series!” “Superbaby to Bat-Baby: DROP DEAD”

Back at Wayne Manor, Bruce-Baby, Alfred, and Dick are hanging out. Alfred looks out the window and sees Kathy Kane coming up the path. Kathy Kane was one of Bruce’s love interests at the time, as well as the erstwhile Batwoman from this era of the comics. Later on, it came to light that the character was created purely to dispel rumors about Batman and Robin being a gay couple. Though, in an issue where Robin is actually carrying Batman around in his arms, I’m not sure if her presence helps that much.

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It looks like Bruce knew she would show up, because he’s already got a plan in mind for handling the situation. Alfred invites Kathy in and directs her towards the library... where Bruce and Dick beat her to death. Well, of course they don’t, but that really would have saved this comic, I think.

Instead, Kathy sees a shadow on the wall, and it’s the silhouette of Bruce and another woman kissing. And instead of doing something sensible, like walking in and confronting the man she loves, she just angrily storms out.

Caption contributed by Lewis
“That fink! In fifty years I’ll become a lesbian! That’ll show him!”

Cut to the library, where we learn it’s actually just a cardboard cut-out [!] of Bruce kissing a woman. That was his big plan to get rid of his girlfriend? By making her think he’s cheating on her? I’m starting to understand why Bruce Wayne’s been a bachelor for 70 years.

Ah, but he’s not as shortsighted as you might think. “When I’m adult size again,” Bruce says, “I’ll explain that the ‘girl’ she saw was a cousin!” Wow, Bat-Baby thinks of everything! Because it’s perfectly acceptable to kiss your cousin full on the lips while locked in a tight embrace.

But seriously, what woman with half a brain cell is going to buy the “Oh, that girl you saw me making out with? Just my cousin” excuse? Sure, she’s your cousin. Just like Amara and Michelle in Sailor Moon are cousins. You little freak.

Caption contributed by Albert
—”Hey, Bruce, can I ask what you do with the cardboard cutout when you’re not using it to scare away your girlfriends?”—”Please don’t.”

Having successfully dodged a sexual encounter with an actual female, Bruce and Dick get to work on finding the crooks who are working with Garth. Bruce says the jewel thieves won’t leave town until they’ve sold the stolen gems, which is why the police are “keeping tabs on every fence in town.” Whoa, whoa, slow down with the lingo there, junior.

Bruce quickly tracks down one particular “fence” who owns a pawn shop. Coincidentally enough, there’s a playground right across from the guy’s pawn shop. This allows Batman to keep a low profile by playing on a swing set. And there’s a sentence I never saw myself typing.

By the way, can you legally have a pawn shop across the street from a playground? No wonder Gotham City is a cesspool.

The “fence” comes out of his shop, and Bruce worries about keeping up with him and his “long legs”. Luckily, he “cached a pair of skates in the park, for just such an emergency!” Was this before or after he became a toddler? We can only wonder.

Bruce follows along on skates, and eventually comes upon the evil Garth’s hideout. Well, at least I assume he does, because the next page abruptly starts with Bat-Baby and Robin crashing through a skylight into the hideout.

So, as if this whole exercise wasn’t goofy enough, things take another turn for the silly. It seems Garth’s hideout is a “storage warehouse”, and for reasons left unexplained, there’s a rocking horse here. Bat-Baby subsequently rides the rocking horse down a ramp to knock down several villains. Words fail me, people.

Robin also throws a giant harp—a giant harp?—at a few more goons. Meanwhile, Bat-Baby takes advantage of the distraction and heads for the Youthenizer.

Caption contributed by Albert
So, I’m gonna guess this is the warehouse where Liberace stores his stuff.

Robin knocks over a bookcase onto a few more goons, and then finds out Batman has successfully returned to normal size. And it happens just like that: adult Batman is suddenly just standing there. One gets the feeling that the artist realized at the last minute he was running short on space, because there are literally two panels between Bat-Baby riding the rocking horse and adult Batman reappearing.

This means that, thankfully, we’re spared the sight of a full-sized Bruce Wayne in the tiny shorts. Batman explains that he “slipped on a plastic costume I had folded up in a pants pocket!” I’m pretty sure plastic isn’t designed to fold that well, or at all really, but frankly my mind has already been shattered by this story, so I don’t feel like dwelling.

Restored to full size, Batman makes short work of all remaining criminals. The final panel shows Batman and Robin back in the Batcave. The Bat-Baby uniform has been placed in a trophy case, which is really, really creepy, considering all the other costumes that get put in trophy cases later on are from dead Robins.

Batman’s final line of the story: “Just a reminder -- of a brief childhood.” And we all know how Bruce Wayne just loves to be reminded of his childhood, don’t we?

Caption contributed by Albert
“Well, Social Services said I can’t actually put a small child in a glass case, so I figured this was the next best thing!”

It’s times like these that make me actually appreciate the Comics Code. Because if this story had been done in modern times, I’m sure there’d be at least one diaper joke. And I really do not want to contemplate Batman, at any age, wearing a Bat-diaper. And you just know it would have been called a Bat-diaper, complete with a bat-logo poop-stain.

Gah, that was horrible. If anyone needs me, I’ll be reading Booster Gold.

For more awful comics, check out Lewis Lovhaug’s blog, Atop the Fourth Wall!

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