Attention! Achtung! Doctor Says Listening To Adele Makes You Gay!
Normally we do not highlight things that are going to air on Limey Socialist BBC TV, but for this we’ll make an exception, because this poor openly gay UK doctor set himself the task of coming to America to go undercover and explore the wide variety of ex-gay/un-gaying/whatever “therapies” that we have to offer. Land of the free, home of the terrible. That’s us.
In order to investigate, “Undercover Doctor” Dr. Christian Jessen endures therapies (we can’t even believe we’re calling them that, but we’re too lazy to scare quote them for the whole post) that include the relatively weird and probably semi-harmless, except for that whole part where they shame you for being who you are. (They also include the not-semi-harmless at all, of course. We’ll get to those.)
Retired doctor John Smid from Texas offers rehab and orders him to strip his life of things that encourage him to be gay. He throws out Jessen’s Adele CD and tells him: “Adele is very popular within the gay community. You have to listen to Christian music.” Smid also makes him bin his tight undies claiming they will “stir his sensuality” and make him want sex.
In Dallas he visits a doctor who says he can change people’s sexuality through colouring books.
Back in London he meets a pastor who offers exorcisms to rid people of “gay demons’’.
You guys a literal fuckton of people bought those Adele records. Like millions and millions. Are they all gay now, or does it only work on the already weak of mind and limp of wrist? Also too COLORING BOOKS??
None of these things really compare to the aversion therapy he undergoes, mainly because it is stupidly awful and also because we didn’t realize anyone still did this sort of stuff, even to the gays.
We see Dr Jessen given bottle of ipecac syrup to drink, to make him vomit for hours while looking at pictures of naked men and listening to tapes telling him he is ‘worthless,’ that being gay was evil and that he should want to have sex with women.
This ‘shock therapy’ used to be deployed by doctors for treating homosexuality, ‘since probably the 1920s, 30, 40s and going on well into the 1970s and 80s,’ Dr Jessen tells Mail Online.
Patients were given injections every two hours which would make them vomit and have diarrhoea. The theory was that, afterwards, seeing images of naked men or having homosexual thoughts, would cause a physical reaction.
No patients claimed to be cured by this method.
OF COURSE THEY WEREN’T CURED BY THAT METHOD.
We may actually be glad that this is only airing in the UK tonight, because we like our television set and do not want to throw it through the window quite yet. If you are a limey socialist and want to endure it, it is on BBC Channel 4 at 10 p.m. UK time tonight. Make sure to tell us all about it in the comments if you do.
PS: No word on whether he visits Marcus Bachmann’s clinic or not, so someone really has to watch this for us and find out.