Here Are Some Additional Disney Princesses For Fox News To Worry About

It’s awfully nice of Fox News to take a break from bashing the socialist tyranny of Michelle Obama’s insistence that children try eating the occasional carrot, so that Fox News can worry that a petition urging Disney to create a plus-sized princess will encourage girls to become obese and get diabetes. That’s just the kind of Deep Thinking About Issues that we’ve come to know and love from Fox.

On Thursday’s Fox & Friends, Elisabeth Hasselbeck introduced a segment about the change.org petition submitted by Jewell Moore, a high school student who argued that a non-skinny Disney princess might help encourage a realistic body image for girls used to seeing super skinny dolls and cartoon princesses. Guests Emme, a plus-size model, and self-proclaimed “obesity expert” Meme Roth were supposedly going to “debate” the question, but instead, Roth took the segment as an opportunity to call curvy women unhealthy role models who need to get their act together.

We “wouldn’t want to look to cartoons for validation,” but on the other hand, we don’t want to suggest that anyone other than Barbie belongs onscreen:

“If you’re going to do a storyline with obesity, then you need to do Princess Diabetes, Princess Cancer, Princess Fertility Problems.”

And then Roth started in on her alleged co-guest, telling her that any acceptance of different body shapes must, of course, mean that you want everyone to be gigantic and unhealthy, because there are no body shapes between Size 2 and the people who have to be carried out of their house by a forklift when they have a heart attack:

It’s unhealthy. If you like cancer and diabetes, if you want fertility problems, then plus-size is beautiful.”

We’re going to leave aside just how utterly wrong and creepy Roth is, because frankly, we don’t have any problem with princesses being curvy, like the perfectly lovely Merida in Pixar’s Brave. Merida looked reasonably like a cartoony version of a 15 year-old, not just another Barbie doll with wild hair — and there was justified outrage when Disney tried to re-create her as a skinny supermodel:

Merida skinnified

But just in case Fox starts running out of princesses to freak out over, we’d like to suggest a few additional topics for intense panel discussions:

Cancer Princess:
cancer princess
As a matter of fact, some parents of real kids with cancer are way ahead of Roth on this one — you want to get a tear in your eye, take a look at the brave little girls with no hair, big smiles, and princess outfits on this Facebook page, which went up in 2011, along with a petition drive (since closed). The parents make an entirely reasonable suggestion: “Disney should create a hairless princess so little girls who have lost their hair due to cancer or other restrictions can realize they are beautiful.”

Also, we’d all enjoy watching Meme Roth on Fox trying to argue that such a cartoon would encourage little girls to go out and get cancer — especially seeing her pilloried by hundreds of seriously pissed off parents.

Wise Latina Supreme Court Justice Princess:
wise latina princess
This Disney Princess would give Fox the opportunity to wonder why Disney has become so darn racist all of a sudden, and whether the Princess would allow a lot of illegal immigrants from Puerto Rico to come to America.

Threatening Gender Identity Princess:
They're recruiting!
I couldn’t actually find a transgender Disney princess picture for this one, so a draft horse in Pretty Princess drag will have to do. This princess could easily sustain several freakouts and poutrages at Fox, as defenders of Traditional Princesshood ask how we’re even supposed to know what throne she would sit on.

New Black Panther Party Princesses:
black panther princesses
New Black Panther Party Princesses: It’s an election year, so these princesses wouldn’t have to be confined to the morning Fox & Friends dungeon. The same image could be used over and over again, with impassioned calls for the Justice department to protect voters from these thug princesses and their threatening scepter. (Not shown: Princesses holding door open for old lady to go in and vote).

Progressive Princess:
Here Are Some Additional Disney Princesses For Fox News To Worry About
The most terrifying princess of all. Fox will probably just dismiss her as a Pocahontas wannabe.

[MediaMatters / Illustrations: Cancer Princess by secki97 / Wise Latina Princess swiped from The Cosbinator / Princess Big Macintosh by Pixelkitties]

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  • NotConvinced

    I think Meme represents tweeking Meth addicts very well. Girl could not shut her yapper for a second.

    • What about Amy Farrah Fowler — or is the giddily enthusiastic nerd princess marginalized most of all?

  • Vicious Babushka

    Who made Meme Roth an “expert” on obesity or anything else? She has no education, no credentials, no qualifications, she is just an anorexic fat-shaming big mouth with a blog.

  • i_am_allwrite

    If only Anna Nicole Smith had been articulate. Or, y’know…sane.

  • Newtsundies

    What I want to know is, did Meme Roth outgrabe?

  • hvdv

    ha, yes. skinny = never no cancer. chunky = ALL the cancer. it’s science!

  • hahahhahhahaha supermodel bests expert halfwit.

  • October Jade

    Plus-Size is NOT EQUIVALENT to overweight. They are not synonomous. Stop using them interchangeably.