Constantine RECAP: What's the Deal with Chas? (S1:E11)

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Open on a city skyline and someone chanting in Latin and conjuring smoke. Then we cut away to a little girl brushing her doll’s hair. The smoke comes into her room and surrounds her. Really? More children being attacked?

The surgeon general warned us about this.

The surgeon general warned us about this.

John tells Zed he’s added more protections to the house and she should be safe now. I guess she has told him about her past. Basically, the head of this cult (her father, she dramatically tells John) believes she’s essential to his vision of his future. John says it’s cool if she has a storied past; he trusts her because she’s pretty. And now we’re heading to Brooklyn thanks to the blood map. Chas isn’t coming because it’s his weekend with his daughter.

Flashback! John and Chas are drunk in a bar, and John asks Chas to pick up his tab in exchange for a protection spell. After John leaves, a band starts playing. The stage catches on fire and Chas passes out.

For three strawberry daiquiris and a jager shot, John will make you immortal. Sounds like a fair exchange.

For three strawberry daiquiris and a jager shot, John will make you immortal. Sounds like a fair exchange.

Back at the house, Zed tells John that people in Brooklyn have started inexplicably falling into comas. He shows her Chas’s favorite toy, the sinew from Achilles’ heel, which is impervious to magic. I’m sure this trinket will be important later.

Chas has arrived after his daughter has gone to bed and her mother, Renee, is none too happy about it. Ooooo, Chas’ real name is Francis! And he hates it! Francis goes upstairs, and his daughter is passed out on the floor. She’s the little girl from earlier!

John and Zed arrive at the hospital where he’s taken his daughter, Geraldine. It seems she’s one of the ones who’s fallen into a coma—the hospital has six other patients with similar symptoms. Wait, are we in Brooklyn or Atlanta? John discovers that her soul has left her body, which means her body will only stay alive for another couple of days. Renee arrives and tells Zed the same thing Anne Marie did: she should stay away from John. This refrain is getting a bit old.

Flashback! Chas wakes up in a hospital with Renee and Geraldine by his side. The doctors said he was dead when they pulled him from the nightclub fire but somehow he’s fine now. Damn, I was really hoping he’d had his power a lot longer. How cool would it have been if his daughter was like 86? Boo.

John, Chas, and Zed go to an army surplus store to find John’s “friend” the medium. They have to make him help contact Geraldine because John doesn’t have any friends.

CONSTANTINE RECAP: What's the Deal with Chas? (S1:E11)

What’s a little shotgun between friends?

They perform a ritual with Geraldine’s doll, and after speaking with the scared little girl for a moment, something takes over the medium’s body. It recognizes John, but he doesn’t recognize it—he’s defeated too many demons to remember any of those assholes. It sets the medium’s body on fire, and that’s why nobody helps John.

They lose more good mediums this way.

They lose more good mediums this way.

So apparently there’s some sacred books scattered around the globe. Through the magic of plotholes, John has decided that Geraldine’s soul must be held hostage in the nearest one. And how do we find out where stuff is? We let Zed hold an object inexplicably linked to the book so she can have a vision! She sees a laboratory in an abandoned rail yard. Smoke floats by and a man in a cloak slashes her with a knife—and actually cuts her! I thought this was a vision?!

They go to the rail yard and find it’s protected by a cloaking spell. John makes quick work of it, and they head inside. It’s pretty damn creepy, but not as creepy as the guy in the cloak. He takes off his cloak, and it’s comic book villain Felix Faust!

Eh, close enough.

Eh, close enough.

John says he’s a second rate magician, but Felix disagrees because he’s the only one who has figured out how to separate souls from their bodies. John and Felix make a deal: a demon has been preying on the bodies of the souls he has taken, and Felix wants him dead. John agrees to do it if Felix will free Chas’ daughter. Well, that was easy. Chas insists that Felix is a pansy and they should just kill him, but John knows he’s become much more powerful thanks to the Rising Darkness. It’s soooooo unpredictable. Chas is letting his emotions get the better of him, and John sends him to be with his daughter so he won’t do anything stupid.

Zed and John set up a trap for the demon—the same one he used in the first episode with Liv. They go wandering into a old building to find him, though how they know it’s inside I have no idea. Apparently this building isn’t ideal for luring a demon, so they need a new plan. If you say so, John.

"My trustu Lil' Orphan Annie decoder monocle says no demons here!"

“My trusty Lil’ Orphan Annie decoder monocle says no demons here!”

Flashback! Chas is shocked that he’s healed overnight from the fire. John isn’t surprised; the spell he’d drunkenly cast the night before was actually a myth invented by Merlin. The legend said that if any knight of the Round Table affected by the spell died in the company of lesser knights, he would gain the lives of those killed around him. 47 people died in the fire, so now Chas has 47 lives. So he’s actually a cat! Alright, that’s kind of cool. I wonder who’s keeping track of Chas’ lives?

Zed is the bait now. Her unconscious body will draw the cat/lizard/skeleton demon into the trap. It attacks Zed, but John’s lighter suddenly won’t work. It’s okay though; he’s got a cattle prod, which is apparently very effective against creatures from Hell. Who knew.

For all your exorcism needs.

For all your exorcism needs.

Everyone reunites at the hospital, and there are many more victims than before. Renee insists on coming with them to see Faust, but Zed talks her out of it and stays with her. Back at the rail yard, Faust isn’t happy that John destroyed the demon rather than send him to Hell and refuses to honor the deal. Chas is pissed, understandably, and knocks John unconscious since his plan didn’t work.

Flashback! Chas has missed his daughter’s birthday party because he was helping John slay the Monkey King. Renee notes that it is honorable that he saved another family but insists he being caring about his own. Sadface.

Back in the present, Chas offers Felix his 32 souls in exchange for his daughter’s and kills himself as a demonstration. Okay, 31 souls now. Guess he hadn’t delegated the count to John after all.

Zed tells Renee she’ll try talking to Geraldine to let her know her mother is here with her. Didn’t we have to get a medium for this earlier? And Zed could do it the whole time? Felix could have possessed and killed her instead wtffff!!!!!!!! Something goes wrong and Zed falls to the ground. The rail yard address falls out of her purse and Renee finds it. Ugh.

Chas wakes up, and Felix is like, “Hells yeah, jackpot!!!!!!” John’s conscious again too, and Renee just arrived. Chas and Felix shake hands on the deal, and Chas loops the sinew from Achilles’ heel around Felix’s wrist.

"But we shook hands! No fair!"

“But we shook hands! No fair!”

Chas then pulls the pin on a grenade, and John is like, “Bahaha good job, Chas,” and drags Renee away from the blast. When a mage dies, his spells are broken, so Geraldine should be waking up anytime now. Renee takes some predicatble shots about John being an asshole and leaves for the hospital.

Flashback! Chas asks John to reverse the spell on him, but John says he’s been trying and can’t. John gives some sage advice—Chas can let the spell consume his life or use it as a weapon against evil. It’s all the pep talk Chas needed.

In the present, Chas arrives home and Renee seems glad to see him? Geraldine is just fine now. She made a bracelet for Chas and they seem to be repairing their relationship as well. He decides now would be a good time to show his daughter the photo album full of pictures of the 47 people whose lives he can cash in anytime he wants.

Zed wakes up in the hospital, and John tells her she’s a moron for trying to contact Geraldine, which isn’t anything we didn’t already know. Apparently being a medium takes a lot of training and she just doesn’t have it. She also saw John’s mother somehow? And she says her death wasn’t John’s fault? Random. It makes him cry a little, and he lays in the hospital bed next to Zed like a goddamn married couple. I still haven’t figured out if we’re in Brooklyn or Atlanta.

TV Show: Constantine

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