The 24 Faces Of Madonna
1. “Like a Prayer” Madonna
The Editrix said this has to be first, and who are we to argue. Lingerie-dress-wearing outrage-causing hotness. Also, stigmata. Stigmata is very in this season.
2. The Suit-Wearing Part of the “Express Yourself” Video Madonna
She has a monocle!!
3. The Sexy Almost See Through Dress Part of the “Vogue” Video Madonna
Sexxxxy, and also too, the song “Vogue” gave us this:
4. “Borderline” Madonna
Madonna is a cute girl from around the way! Madonna is a sexy sultry singer girl! MADONNA IS YOUR ALL PURPOSE 80s LADY.
5. The Kissing Britney Madonna
Don’t lie. You fapped to this shit 10 years ago.
6. “Material Girl” Madonna
The whole being Marilyn thing worked out pretty well for Madonna.
7. “Music” Madonna
Seriously, sexy cowboy Madonna was a weird idea but it held up better than expected.
8. The “Flamenco Dancer” Part of the “La Isla Bonita” Video
This song, and this look, are what happens when you don’t have enough people to tell you no. Also, there’s that terrible long-haired Spanish guitar player guy.
9. “Don’t Cry For Me Argentina” Madonna
Remember that we live in a world where someone greenlit Madonna to play Evita Peron? And then she filmed this entire video in what was supposed to be a sort of Grace Kelly ice-princess-y sort of way but you can’t stop staring at the dress that PUCKERS RIGHT AT HER TITS????
10. “Who’s That Girl” Madonna
Entirely forgettable movie, meet entirely terrifyingly unforgettable eyebrows. The worst. We might never touch ourselves again.