10 Great Pick-Up Moves For Ladies

10 Great Pick-Up Moves For Ladies

Hey gals! Do you want to learn to pick up boys? You’ve come to the right place! I, Sara Benincasa, am an expert in scoring dates with handsome gentlemen. And now I’m ready to reveal my secrets! When I go out on the town, I use one of these surefire pick-up moves and pretty soon I’m reeling in the marriage proposals.

1. Go up to the most Italian-looking man at the party and yell, “IT WAS AN ABORTION, MICHAEL!”

2. Fart in a sexy man’s general direction. Guys love girls who understand the appeal of “Monty Python.”

3. Get on all fours in the middle of a crowded public space and stick your ass in the air whilst screaming, “COME AND GIT IT!”

4. Work towards financial independence and being a whole person who can meet her own emotional needs hahahah J/K lose weight.

5. Offer to show anyone within earshot your “How To Train Your Dragon 2” slash fic.

6. Spontaneously sing “Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Man” at the top of your lungs while crying.

7. Approach a man and whisper in his ear, “I can’t remember what it’s like to feel.”

8. Make sculptures out of your toenail clippings, at TGI Friday’s.

9. Recite Eddie Murphy’s “Raw” from memory. Note: it does not matter if you have actually ever seen “Raw.”

10. Settle.

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  • BMW

    Y’all think she’s kidding, but most of these’d totally work.

  • ConcernedCitizen

    #7 would have me cracking up and proposing in no time. Good list.

  • Daniel P

    #3 will definitely work.#6 only works on what remains on the auto worker population in the Detroit area.#10 is what most of us men are rooting for.

  • goonemeritus

    I fell for a tall dominant looking woman when she quoted TheGodfather to me at a party, but it turns out she just wanted me to paint herhouse.

  • ChrisVosburg

    Riffing on number three, take a tip from Sarah Palin, and show ’em the tramp stamp tatooed on your backside:”MUSH!”

  • Nikkiru

    Going up to him and whispering “wanna f*ck?” in his ear might not be as bizarre as any of these. But it’s never failed me.

    • Daniel P

      Sold!

  • Dragoon21b

    When I first met my wife when she called me a silly Kaaniggit…does that count?

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  • EricPoole

    My wife snagged me by saying I looked like Christopher Reeve (pre-horse accident).

  • AmericanFirst73

    Lady peoples: even if you attempt one of these sure-fire techniques, remember that most men will still accidentally cock-block themselves when trying to talk to you. Please ignore it when we do. Thanx!!

  • natoslug

    #11. Walk up and say “hi.”#12. Walk up and say “piss off!”(I guess what I am saying is make a sound, be seen. When it comes to women, we’re about as complex as salmon in the presence of a shiny lure.)

  • Blanche Beecham

    I snagged a man with my famous white sausage gravy on biscuits.Women need to stop with these silly “weird tips”.